My Pregnant Stories

Most of these I've only told my mother- while walking around in walmart... they were NOT funny at the time, but as I was telling them to her, we both couldn't help but to laugh at the absolute ridiculousness of the moment- the people in walmart must have thought I was crazy.

Let's see, the first story I can remember is the laundry wars at our first apartment. I was just a month and a half along when the landlords daughter decided to do laundry at 3am. You see, where we lived, the basement, the laundry room was right outside our bedroom door, and if you turn the light on and make a lot of noise- like jeans/clinkers in the dryer- it was going to wake us up. At this point, I was tired ALL the time already, and did not appreciate my precious sleep being interrupted. So, at the advice of my mother-in-law, I started unscrewing all the light bulbs in the basement so that she wouldn't be able to see anything. I wish I had started doing it much, much sooner because I think we moved a week or two later.

Next was when I really started to notice my irrational road RAGE, and I mean RAGE! I have to commute maybe 15mins to work, not bad right? Unless you're stuck behind drivers going 5 BELOW the speed limit -because there is only one road that goes to Lexington & I have to take it all the way to their neighborhood- so it adds another 15mins!! The first time I waited patiently. The second time it happened I got a little closer. The third time I flicked my lights and when it didn't work I laid on my horn- literally all the way through downtown Lexington. That is when I knew it was out of the ordinary "road rage".

Hmmm... the funny ones, which might only be funny if you've had similar experiences... are the "I peed myself" stories.
The first time it wasn't at all my fault. There was nothing I could do. Our apartment was still "under construction", but I'd always had trouble getting the door open. By the time I come home David is usually there or with me & he takes care of any and all doors. This time I was on my own trying to drop something off before I went to go pick him up. I tried for 1o mins to get the door open- I couldn't get it to budge (yes I unlocked it first). That's when it got really bad. I called David upset and told him to fix it, even though at that point there was nothing he could do. Then I got even angrier and started kicked it- then I tried the shoulder (really hurt)... and that's when I started crying- I'd had to go the whole time and I just couldn't hold it anymore- there was nowhere to go, no neighbors home- not even decent bush cover. I peed myself. And that's when of course I could finally get the door open, after it was too late.
The second time I peed myself caught me by complete surprise. It was a snowy day so the Detwilers were coming to pick me up for work but they were running a little late so I was eating breakfast with David. Then I had a sneeze attack, and the third time I sneezed, I peed. And that's exactly when they called from the parking lot. I had no time to change. I went to work wet.
I guess the most recent and probably the funniest to watch would have been me a couple of Sundays ago trying to case after this little boy, a "runner" down the hallways. It was like having a backpack in front of me while I tried to quickly, waddle/shuffle after him. I'm pretty sure I looked ridiculous.
I think that's all I've got that stands out, and wow, I can't believe I'm posting this for people to read!