Super Vent

So, I've never "vented" on my blog before- I've really tried to focus on sharing the positive. Yes there are the "frustrations" sprinkled here and there but never a full out vent. But the truth is right now it feels like one thing after another and I don't even have time to catch my breath before the next thing hits the fan! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'm gonna add a GRAWRRRRR!!! for good measure. My calling is STILL frustrating, going to church in general is frustrating and while it's mighty tempting to just give up there has got to be a light at the end of the tunnel right? I keep waiting for a low stress calling but now I'm not sure they exist. I remember the good old singles ward as a Sunday school teacher- I LOVED IT!! I really really really miss teaching gospel doctrine and I know now that I spend most of church chasing around Jonathan it's not all that practical to have a Sunday calling but it's not impossible right? David and I could switch off right? I don't know, but I can honestly say that out of all the callings I've had- teaching gospel doctrine was my favorite. Primary was fun, and I LOVE the people I served with but I'll be honest the younger primary wore me out and to be fair, I was pregnant at the time.
I think administrative callings must be the most difficult- the more adults I have to work with or contact or be a "go-between" for the harder my calling is. I'm so ready to be released. I really think I need a break. I think being a visiting teaching supervisor person has burned me out. I gave it everything I promise I really did try- but I don't think I've got anything left to give.
On top of that- while I'm SO EXCITED to be a mom- again- I'm SO OVER being such a picky eater- I promise I don't do it on purpose. Last night was the last straw. I wanted to make David dinner because I knew he'd be getting back late and he requested spaghetti and I know it mostly my own fault because I told him these days I get hungry but NOTHING sounds good so it's really hard for me to make a menu and I told him if he wants something he's going to have to let me know what my lunch. He did his part- but I didn't want it and I didn't know what else to eat so all through dinner I'm sitting there watching him eat yummy yummy spaghetti which I usually love and I'm getting hungrier and hungrier and angrier and angrier and the poor hubs, it's not his fault. After snacking on some string cheese I give up, do the dishes, rifle through the fridge and pantry and burst into tears (this is of course the reader's digest version where I completely skim the tantrum of slamming cupboards). It's just not fair. I have to eat right? So why does nothing in my house look even slightly appealing?! I promise, I really tried, I tried carrots, oat meal-I couldn't take more than one bite. I didn't even want chocolate milk! Last night was rough.
And today I got a medical bill- for at least one test I DIDN'T EVEN GET- WHAT!?! That's just CRAZY!!!! They said my United Health Care didn't cover it and I DON'T EVEN HAVE UNITED HEALTH so WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT!
So I've spent at least an hour on the phone today- in fact, I'm on hold right now.
I'm sure it'll all get sorted out but it's really just "one more thing" to drive me crazy.
Another thing, I should never be allowed to drive while I'm pregnant because other drivers just make me angry.
I think it all boils down to me being an angry pregnant woman because I'm hungry and clementines, while the only food I consider delicious right now, are NOT filling.

Hopefully getting all this down will help me feel better. If not, I promise to NEVER vent on my blog again.